LXXXVI.

I used to dream I was falling. I’d be swinging on one end of a long, long rope, and I’d look up all of a sudden and see that the other end was not connected to anything and then I’d be falling, my stomach in my throat, just hurtling downwards until I woke with a gasp.

I used to dream I was trapped in spiderwebs. I’d wake up still feeling them brushing my face, arms, chest, tightening as I struggled, cotton-soft, strangling.

There are times now when I lie awake feeling just as disconnected, just as trapped.

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